3AM Thoughts

For 3 December 2010

A wandering at this hour ... on the heels of an Advent lecture offered by the Reverend Father Norm Douglas . Some points were good ... most significantly, forgiving ourselves first ...

But I harkened back to the three hour conference for my annulment in the summer of 2007 - some things should be left to the Almighty ...

For me - I'll channel my frustrations into positive undertakings. To me, when slapped on the cheek and turn and let them slap you on the other cheek simply means - if hurt - move on in Christian love  - and if slapped again - keep moving ...

The Catholic priest appealed to the calm sensitive sensibilities of his audience - inwardly, I was anything but calm.

But I listened politely.

All that I hold dear has been destroyed or is under a relentless attack.

And I keep walking ... in service.

I suspect in comes down to Veritas - the truth.

And the ability to communicate the truth in a civilized and understanding tone of communication.

And it isn't happening.

When I was on the stand in court hearing, the magistrate admonished me for personally appearing at government offices. "Who told you to do that?!?" she exclaimed.

Should I be afraid of our government and its employees?

And in an email to my daughter I simply said my fondest hope is veritas, veritas spoken in
civil terms. 


There's snow on the ground and the world is asleep.

There are books surrounding my bed - focusing more recently on the Eric Metaxas book about Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

His life - negotiating as long as he did - in service to God and Jesus Christ amidst a society so filled with hate. I shudder and am cold even in thinking about human beings who lose their sense of empathy.

But it's the Christmas season.

And for now I'll retreat to the baement and read until sleep, sweet sleep takes me away to the heavens.

I anxiously await the dawn!